Are you sabotaging your own happiness?
This is yet another thing that I am really passionate about. It is something I realized not too long ago and I wish that I knew it earlier. This realization kicked in at a moment that I was perfectly happy. I felt so good, so free, so much alive and then, out of the blue, my mind started to interfere. It literally started to come up with scenarios that could possibly destroy my happiness in the future. It was like my mind said to me; Don’t feel too happy, you might have forgotten something that could go awfully wrong. Suddenly I became aware of what was happening inside me and I thought; Wait a minute! Did I just let my moment of pure happiness being destroyed by some really irrelevant thoughts? The answer was a big fat; Yes I did! I started to become super curious about the how and why this was happening and it let me to a game changing realization.
It is not the happiness that is so hard to find.
It is that you are not allowing yourself to be happy!
All of us want the same, we want to live happy and joyfully. We just want to feel good. But if being happy was not a complicated thing than there wouldn’t be so many books, opinions, research etc. about it. Evidence shows a whole lot of factors relate to happiness. For example; money increases happiness only until a certain amount, in general married people seems to be happier than unmarried people. Being religious or spiritual, a strong mindset, personal development, having goals and recently minimalism are related to a happy life. Apparently, we are looking for things to add to our lives in order to find happiness. But since I get to know my mind better I have come to think different about it. I really think that happiness and wellbeing are ‘always there’. Just imagine happiness as a place inside yourself, available to you always no matter where you are.
Than the questions shifts from; ‘What I am missing in order to feel happy’ to ‘What barriers interfere with my happiness?’
Here are a few very common ones ?
- You keep yourself busy ruminating about a unimportant situations.
- You always see things in your life that could be better or need improving.
- You keep yourself stuck in anger towards people who did you wrong.
- You focus on the future things that may or may not happen.
- You feel horrible after watching the news and you feel guilty to let that feeling go.
Maybe by now you have already identified some of your own barriers and you ask yourself; ‘Why then hack would I block my own happiness’. I will tell you. Joy is one of the scariest emotions we have. Really? Really!
Have you ever found yourself thinking; Wow, everything goes so well, this is too good to be true. Or look at someone you love so deeply, and feel overwhelmed by fear of losing them the next second?
Yes… Being joyful makes us afraid and vulnerable. There is this little voice inside of us telling us that good things don’t come easy or that you are not deserving.
And so, we thrive pretty well on problems and thoughts that keep us in the dark. It can be much nicer to have something on your minds that bothers you that being perfectly fine. Because than what? If there is no problem at all. Than what are you going to do ?
Please let me know if this blog serves you and if you would like to know more!
If you would like to know more about this topic, check out this video about ‘Forboding joy’WThis is why you don’t feel happy