3 ways to decrease negative emotions

The people who know me, know. I like to keep my frequency high. My glass is half-full and I  focus on joy and happiness. The reason for that is quite obvious, focussing on happiness increases happiness and success. A positive mind creates a positive life, it is as simple as that. Still many people don’t focus on their happiness, they focus on their problems and their unhappiness. Some people even block their happiness. And I used to do that too, I did not let myself get too happy or too relaxed. I felt like I needed to stay alert to see if there were any problems on it’s way. There is a false believe going around in this world that whenever there are no problems for a while, they will come soon. In this post I want to encourage you to stop thinking like that. It is a way of sabotaging your own happiness. A concept that explains really well how this works is the law of attraction. The law of attraction states that everything vibrates on a certain frequency. Feelings like depression, anger, frustration create low vibrations and they attract low vibration circumstances. I am sure that you had days that started shitty and went on the get worse and worse. You started you day on a low frequency and attracted more problems. Thats the law of attraction at work.

The good news is. It works the other way around too. Happiness, love, joy are high frequency emotions and they attract high frequency experiences. They attract your desires. When you feel good and you focus on how good your life is, things will get better. When I really began to understand this I learned that it is silly to NOT let yourself become too happy. Being happy, as a matter of fact is the best thing that you can do for yourself and for others.

The things that you desire are not going to give you happiness, your happiness is going to bring you your desires!

Whenever I talk about raising your vibration and focusing on happiness the following question rises; What to do with negative emotions? Hide it, push it away? Force yourself into feeling good? Great question and NO, there is place for negative emotions. It is important to feel them, they create the contrast that you need to reach happiness, but they are not suppose to take you over. Here are three ways to handle and lower your negative emotions! Enjoy!

  1. Be nice to you

We think billion thoughts everyday and a big chuck of those are negative. About ourselves for example. I use to think quite negative about myself too. I was hard and judgmental about myself. Negative thoughts about yourself make you feel bad and they disempower you. After coaching many people I know for a fact that everybody experiences negative self talk to certain extend and it is important to deal with it and turn the thoughts around.

First, become aware of the voice in your head that says mean things to you. identify it as the inner critic. The inner critic is NOT YOU.  It’s your mind/ego, that wants to ‘protect you’. Realise this; negative self talk does not serve you! The thoughts will  not stop until you KNOW this. Once you have de-identified with your inner critic   you take away most of it’s power.  If you want to work thoroughly you make a list of things your inner critic says. Is your inner critic typically critical about the way you look, or about the things you say in social situations? Everyone has a different inner critic and the better you know it, the easier it is to take down the noise. After you know how to identify your inner critic, you simply stop listening. Because it does’t serve you in any way. Moreover, it just makes you feel low, insecure and powerless.

  1. Let the little things be little

My website doesn’t work, my friend is late for an appointment, my Spanish class goes really bad and I can’t get a word out, I burnt the entire dinner, I spilled red wine over my new white shirt.  All things in this range, empty ‘carebox’. I don’t care.  I raise my shoulder and say; shame, it’s not a problem.

I really stopped caring about little that don’t matter. The mere reason for that is that its serves nothing and nobody to feel bad about this. Possibly and probably it will only get worse. If I start to be really angry at my friend, she is going to be sad, if I get angry because my website doesn’t work chances are only more problems will come up. Focusing on problems, grows problems. Don’t do it. Instead choose to accept it and move on you, you will see that there was never really a problem and your day can continue to go in the right direction.

 

  1. When shit hits…..

With those to tricks my negative emotions are much less than they use to be. BUT, still there. Because life happens and we are just humans. So, whenever a wave of sadness, depression or anger overflows me, I welcome it. The difference is, I don’t hang on to it. And THIS, is a big difference. I see emotions as big waves in the ocean that overflow me completely but then the ocean calms down and I can peacefully swim on in the sun.

Three months ago I took a plane from Amsterdam to London. I was on my way to Santiago, this time to move there permanently. I was leaving Amsterdam and all the people behind. I had been very strong the whole time, but once I sat down in the plane, I started crying. I mean; CRYING, tears unstoppably dripping down my face. And I couldn’t stop, I also did not want to stop, I want to let it all out because I knew a big relieve would follow after my breakdown. The women who sitting next to me, grabbed my hand after a few minutes and asked me. Are you okay? I shook yes with my head while I was obviously not okay. Her next question was; do you want to talk or do you just need to cry. I loved this question, because that’s exactly what I needed. I needed to cry, nothing less nothing more.

What I am trying to explain with this story we tend to take emotions too seriously. We panic not because of the emotion itself but merely because of the fact that there is an emotion. We panic because apparently something needs to be done in this situation of pain. Something needs to change because having a negative feeling is ‘bad’. But a negative feeling is fine. Accept that you have a negative feeling, feel it and then let it go away. Don’t hang on to the feeling. Let the ocean calm down and swim in the sun. Than your vibe will raise automatically.

 

 

 

 

 

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